the world's not an oyster, but a screen

I'm just signed up for my first U.S. on-line author chats, through the incredibly enterprising Catherine Balkin. www.balkinbuddies.com This means that the world and I can get together, without either the world or I leaving our own homes. Such is the miracle of modern technology. It will be an interesting experience for all of us, and of course for our dogs, who will doubtless want a virtual walk on part in proceedings.

It's freezing here. I have on: a thermal vest; a silk vest; a long-sleeved t-shirt (thick); a jersey (thicker and hooded - hood firmly up); and a giant cardigan knitted from the wool of giant, not-even-a-blizzard-will-floor-me sheep. Why is it that legs are never as well kitted out as tops? I'm wearing two pairs of socks, naturally, and a pair of boots, but I can't say my feet are even remotely warm.

My husband emails: why not turn the heating on?
I email back: your study has heating, but my study's the one with no heating, remember?
He: bad luck.

Even the dogs have deserted me. They're staring hopefully at the boiler. I think when it clicks on and that blue flame leaps, they may, literally, shout 'thank God!'.